Tuesday, 17 September 2013


'Journey through Heartsongs' by Mattie JT Stepanek, one of my favourite poetry books. I first saw Mattie on Oprah, he was a bright, happy and spirit filled young boy, I could feel him living out his Heartsong, even though I was watching him on tv.  Mattie was an 11 yr old boy living with a rare form of Muscular Dystrophy. He sadly lost 3 of his siblings to the same disease and his mother also suffered with it. This young boy touched so many lives with his wisdom, poetry and insight to a place many of us rarely see.

Mattie was, in my eyes an Angel that lived Gods beauty, presence and purpose. He loved his mind and body, even though he was in a permanent wheelchair and had almost no use of his body, most people would look at him and say he was disabled, but I don't believe Mattie saw himself as disabled at all. In fact I believe he was more able than most people.

In his poetry he expressed his sadness of missing his brothers and sister, his happiness of Gods grace and his dreams, one of them being that someday he would see his brothers and sister again. His simple explanations of life, his disease, God and family touch our hearts because they are truth in the rawest form and seen through the eyes of a child. Mattie expressed his Heartsong through words, when the rest of his body was failing him....sadly Mattie died in 2004. I am sure Mattie smiled all the way to heaven and his brothers and sister were there to greet him.

One of Mattie's biggest heroes was Jimmy Carter, former U.S. President. Mattie always dreamt of meeting Jimmy Carter and not only did he meet him, Jimmy Carter wrote the Forward in Mattie's book, expressing they were personal friends.

Going to a conference this week at my church has made me reconnect with my Heartsong. The speaker, Greg Burson, spoke about the music/song in our hearts. This not only literal music that has so many memories attached to it from different stages of my life,  but the passions and stirrings God has placed and is singing to my soul. Life's circumstances take us away from our Heartsong, but the stirring I can no longer ignore.

What I discovered about my Heartsong is that it has been a pattern of the things in my life that have made me happy and full of energy. It is the things that have niggled in my spirit in many different ways but ignored because I never thought they were possible or I was never good enough or someone always does it better.  

God sees us differently. He whispers to us through words, songs, people and a stirring in our spirit. It is that constant feeling in you that the ordinary things in life just don't fulfil or have meaning and no matter what you try and do, your thoughts just keep going back to a place you know you need to pursue. 

Having our eyes and hearts open to see the works God is doing and step into the opportunities that become available when they feel right and they sing to you. God will not take you anywhere you are not meant to be, but there will be challenges and fears to conquer and times you will need to walk in faith.  Like a child relies on a parent to lead, we need to rely on God to take us through and know what's best for us. The difference between parents and God, is God knows your future, your capabilities and your purpose, trust He will not give you anything you cannot handle.

Finding your Heartsong can be the easy part, stepping into it is the challenge. Look back at your life, see the pattern from when you were a child, what made you happy? What have you carried within you all your life, maybe its something you need to rediscover. If so then sit with God and ask him to show you and to stir your Heartsong. Be conscious of what you feel and see and the people that come into your life and why they are there, the context of the books you pick up and the words of the songs you listen to, there are messages in all of it, God never stops talking to us, we just stop listening.

As Mattie titles his book 'Journey through Heartsongs', it is your journey, through your Heartsongs, your pathway to fulfilment and Enlightenment and your choice to start listening. 


Friday, 30 August 2013

Mahalia Jackson--How I got over LIVE

50yrs ago Martin Luther King Jr made the 'I Have a Dream' speech which changed the world and America forever. This woman, Mahalia Jackson played a big part in that speech, she was a gospel singer that sung that historical day. When Martin Luther was giving his speech she lent over to him and gently whispered, 'tell them about the dream Martin' and he pushed his notes aside and said the most famous, significant, freeing speech ever made to this day.

Darlene Zschech reminded us of this in a conference, another significant worship singer that has impacted the world with her music, she reminds us that we have a purpose for where we are today, and God has us right where we need to be to impact the world around us.

Listen to this woman's passion and influence as she sings from her soul and love for her people. (the quality is poor, but the passion is still very clear)

Thursday, 22 August 2013

Nice vs Kind

R u being 'kind' or are you being 'nice' ?

Nice - 1.Pleasant; agreeable; satisfactory: "we had a nice time". 2.(of a person) Pleasant in manner; good-natured; kind: "he's a really nice guy".

Kind - Having or showing a friendly, generous, and considerate nature: "a kind woman".

The definitions are similar when describing a person in the context of a 'nice person' or a 'kind person'. But there is a difference in being 'nice' and being 'kind'.

Nice seems more of a compliant word, its easy to be nice for the sake of keeping the peace around people we don't necessarily like or connect with. We can be 'nice' at a family gathering, ''nice'' to our work colleagues, 'nice' to the delivery guy.

We are 'nice' in the way we give a smile and say 'G'day'. We are 'nice' to our boss or even 'nice' to the customer that is abusive and can't see reason (that one might be a little more difficult).

For so many reasons we can be 'nice'  and quite easily without too much attachment or thought.

Being kind is intentional. 

Being kind is done because you care, or because it is a connection to your heart.

Helping an old lady across the street, or kindly listening to a friend that needs you to just be there for them, or being kind to a family member that needs help to look after the kids when they are not coping too well. They are intentional acts that you haven't had to think about too much. Kind acts that come from caring about those around you.

Kindness can also be in the community , by helping the poor or volunteering your time because you are connected to do so. Kindness is fulfilling and can satisfy the soul of the person giving the kindness and the person receiving it.

Being 'nice' is being polite, but also we can be 'nice ' to people to get what we want, its an easy unattached option and 'nice' words are easy to come by when we need them to work in our favour.

Being kind has attachments, it has intention and it can change lives and relationships. We are kind to someone we love or care about or when we see or feel a genuine need. Kindness can change atmosphere.

 “Wherever there is a human in need, there is an opportunity for kindness and to make a difference.”

 Kevin Heath
 Ceo More4kids

Monday, 5 August 2013

My Three Words

As I'm sitting here in my house looking around pondering my day, I see three words I have as ornaments, Dream, Believe and Peace. All great words with lots of meaning and definition. People have had many stories told using these three words, some even life changing. Its like they have an expectation attached to them, to inspire and make you think about what could be. I look at them right now and just see words. Words that at different points in my life had meaning but also words that I still search for their meaning. We hear these words mentioned in Church, motivational speakers, sport coaches, team leaders and any other motivational leaders and teachings.

They aren't words we use everyday, or remind ourselves of everyday, we don't get up everyday and say YES !!! TODAY IM GOING TO DREAM,  BELIEVE AND BE AT PEACE !! WOOHOO and if we do, we don't usually sustain it throughout the day.....

When I get up I do think about God, I think about what I'm going to do today and who I will see and how I feel about it. Does my house need a clean, will my kids like me today.
This is real life for me....

Those three words are for people already living the dream........

Or are they?

Maybe its just the way we use them and our own expectation we have on such words. What if we could get up every day and say 'Today I'm going to BELIEVE that my DREAMS can come true and I am going to have PEACE about it.' Then hand them to God to carry for the rest of the day, wouldn't that be cool !! Well isn't that what He tells us to do.

I can do all things through Him that strengthens me, Philippians 4:13

He carries these words for us and gives them to us as we need them and seek them, even in our every day tasks and life challenges. I need these individual words at different times through the day.

I need PEACE to do the housework and pick up after everyone day in day out.

I need to BELIEVE my life will have abundance and my family will be safe.

I need to DREAM of a future that is fulfilling and has meaning. 

Now they are MY three words.... I can find my own meaning and expectations that are not overwhelming, they can inspire me in the way God sees them for me.

God sees all of HIS children as equals and all things, including words, are for us to take as our own, its how we see them for ourselves and how we need them in our own life experiences as individual, unique creations.

Monday, 1 July 2013

When you spread rumours about someone, it means you have removed that person from your heart. When you take someone from your heart, Jesus also leaves with them.

Wednesday, 19 June 2013

Victory !

Victory, is it in winning the battle, or is it in the understanding of the battle in order to win?

What's the point in winning but not understanding what the battle is about. 

Definition of Victory - noun:  An act of defeating an enemy or opponent in a battle, game, or other competition: "an election victory". (Or in this case personal and spiritual victory)

Definition of Battle - noun:  a lengthy and difficult conflict or struggle.
(Oxford dictionary)

Each day we are faced with new battles. The question is how can we find victories in them? 

I can't get out of bed today, this is a battle. It keeps me from spending time with God, my friends, family, work and even my health. The victory is in getting out of bed no matter how I feel.

Then to go a little deeper and look at why couldn't I get out of bed? Is it because I'm feeling depressed or can't face the people in my life or I don't want to deal with work issues? 

Why do I have this battle and if it is relationships, what do I need for the victory?

What do I need to overcome in order to get out of bed and make this day victorious?

Maybe I need to face my own feelings and truths about my motives and maybe even offences. Can a phone call or email help in the process of the victory?  Can sharing with a close friend, pastor or councillor help get some light. Go before God and ask Him to show you what you need to see to defeat the battle and win the victory.

Some battles are tougher to overcome. When we lose a loved one, how do we win that battle of grief? This process takes time, love, comfort and God. Be truthful about how you are feeling, if you are angry let God know, he wants to hear from your heart. Being truthful in any form is defeating the enemy and creating a victory. There are so many stories in the bible about grief and sorrow and getting angry at God and asking questions of WHY ? 

There are battles of unforgiveness, greed, hopelessness, self destruction, relationships, death, and confusion, everything we are going through God has seen in every human before and we are not alone in our thoughts or struggles. Reading these stories and relating to them is victory because they all bring hope.

This can help in bringing understanding. In grief we can find a closeness of family coming together, if the person that passed was very ill we can find comfort that they are now in a place of restoration and peace or when we cry out to God for help,  this is where we find our victories. 

We all have different battles, some are bigger than others. Some are life changing and some are moment, minute and day changing. Every victory gets you closer to an understanding of living a fulfilled life.

One Victory at a time !

                                                            But thanks be to God!
                                  He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

                                                             1 Corinthians 15:57   

Tuesday, 28 May 2013

Hope in hopelessness.

Some days I get up feeling lost and purposeless. Make a cuppa tea and walk around pondering, what's next for my life. Some days it just feels hopeless. If I turn on the tv all the news seems hopeless, drive my daughter to school and get a speeding fine, hopeless, not working or feeling passion for anything, hopeless. Oh my,  what a day.......hopeless........

STOP !!!!!!!!!!!!

Its ok to have these days and we all have them , but it doesn't make it easy to be positive and enthusiastic about life. If I stop and look around and think about what I do have, friends, family, health, home, church, there's not really much to be hopeless about, right ?

We live in a society where we always want more, need more and think we deserve more, is this the root of hopelessness?

If I go out on the streets and see a homeless, family less, friendless, church-less, unhealthy, person that is cold, sleeping and living on the street, whether by choice or not, circumstances one way or another has gotten them there, is that more hopeless, I guess so, but does it take away my feelings of hopelessness, not really, WHY ???

Because until I am faced with that issue myself I cant really feel what its like for them. I cant feel what its like for a refugee leaving their country and home on a boat, with their children, just to try and keep them alive. I cant feel what its like to be the richest man in the world and have to deal with so much money and insecurity about who likes me for me and who just wants to know me for my status or the child that has been used in sex slavery, or the gorilla that was killed in the name of palm oil. The mother grieving over her child that has been beheaded in the street in cold blood for no reason other than religion, or just the average person getting on the train to go to work in a job that is meaningless and boring.

Don't we all deal with some form of hopelessness ??
Definition of hopelessness - 'the despair you feel when you have abandoned hope of comfort or success'.
I can imagine these situations, but I can't feel them, they can impact my heart when I read about them or see them on the news, I genuinely feel sad, but why are they so easily forgotten?

How can I say your hopelessness is more than mine? I can't deny the way I feel, I cant always push things aside, eventually they will build up and I will need to face them. I need to take care of my own hopelessness before I can feel someone else's. HOW??

God says 'Life is but a vapour", this tells me our life is short, so we should make the most of it, HE says "Do not fear", this tells me its going to be ok, just keep trying,  HE says "Seek and you shall find" this tells me if I search for anything - hope, happiness, purpose, truth, love  I will find it, HE says " I will fight for you" this tells me HE loves me and will do all He can to guide me, HE says "Be still and know" this tells me when I sit quietly and patiently and consciously with Him, He will show me what I need to see. HE says "For I know the plans I have for you, to give you a future and Hope" this tells me He already knows my future and my purpose, Trust in Him.

When I take care of myself I have eyes to see the hope in hopelessness. The women praying over the young man that was beheaded without fear of her own life - HOPE. People helping and loving each other after their houses have been torn down by the strong arm of mother nature - HOPE. People taking the time to cook a hot meal for the homeless - HOPE. Non profit organisations popping up everywhere to help those in sex slavery and having victories in saving some of those women and children - HOPE. Having the money to pay my speeding fine - HOPE. Getting a txt message or phone call from a friend to say 'just thinking of you' - HOPE. Even just the realisation that I have what I need and I am where I am supposed to be - HOPE.
Definition of Hope - A feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen.

My hope or hopelessness is no less or more than yours, its whether or not we can see one inside the other.

Friday, 24 May 2013

Love Language

Love Language, what is that! Well I'm starting to understand that its not all about looovveee, but its about trying to understand the people around me. In the book The 5 Love languages, by Gary Chapman, has opened up a whole new thought process of relationships. The 5 love Languages listed are: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Gifts, Acts of Service, Physical Touch. I didn't really know which one I was,  but as I became more aware and talked about it with others I started to really look at what it was that made us feel loved. After thinking about all of them I think to some degree my Love language is all of them and for most people they probably are when we want affection from our husbands or partners, families...UNTIL...We started to do some light home renovation's and fix ups.

One day as we had some ideas of light home fix ups we went to good ol' Bunnings, shopped around, got what we needed and more, as you do in Bunnings, including a hot dog! When we got home Steve started to drill holes and get things happening, I was feeling really loved and happy, excited....UNTIL....work stopped and its now been a week and I have half finished holes in the walls. Its been this week I have really noticed my Love language, Acts of Service. I have begun to pout and have little digs about the unfinished work and feeling personally offended. I have realised that Im not feeling LOVED! This was important to me and not so much a big deal to him, until we recognised this being my Love Language and he could understand why I felt offended. When we looked back we realised that I feel really loved when he does things for me, even simply hanging out the washing, making a cuppa or even a back rub. These are all Acts of Service, then also realising that I like to do Acts of Service for others, cooking, being helpful, this also makes me feel happy, even though the others are important too, I definitely recognise this as my strongest Love Language.

I see this in other relationships too, with my daughter, I think her Love Language is Words of Affirmation and my mums is gifts. Imagine if we all new each others Love Languages, even the lady serving the coffee or the guy coming to fix the fridge, I wonder if we could better communicate and understand each other and our motives.

We seem to all have deep emotional feelings that trigger us off in different ways,(not even consciously). If only we could understand where it is each one of us is coming from and be more present and aware that we all have a Love Language.I wonder if relationships would be more accepted and understood, it certainly has helped Steve and I have a better understanding of each other and what is important to me matters to him and vice versa.

Recognising someone's Love Language gives an insight to who that person is and what makes them feel loved and honoured. Asking people close to you what they think their Love Language is and even if they don't know, we might see it in them and help them recognise it and then being able to be aware of it when we interact with them. I have found it hard at times to be completely endearing to Steve's  Love Language and him mine, but its ok, its just nice to recognise what can be driving some of our emotions and offences and being able to talk about them.

I feel God must know our Love Language, He wouldn't fulfil our desires or comfort us with such gentleness and understanding. Maybe this is why we begin to trust Him and find Joy in Him and want more of Him, he has taken the time to know our Love Language.


Thursday, 23 May 2013

Time to Begin

Its taken me 2 hours to set up this blog page, but considering its taken me 40 years to start my life journey that's not bad ha!. What is with the procrastinating of doing things. This is the second blog page I have started but this is the only one I have actually written on, just fear of letting go of my words, thoughts and ideas. WOW ! time to get started.

I've called this Blog The Sanctuary, I had an idea to rent a building and make it into a coffee shop, book store, creative space, prayer/meeting room, even a dance studio !! a place to come and chill and hangout and feel like you are in a Sanctuary, for a few minutes or a few hours. A space of freedom and creativity. I have this plan in my head, on paper and I have shared it with God, but for now, this is my starting place, who knows where this may lead. With God in the plan anything is possible, this is my experience anyway and I believe He has a plan for my life and this may not be His plan, it may look completely different but either way I know it will still be a Sanctuary and I'm ok with that. Sometimes I just wish he would give me a hint or hurry up,'Lord grant me patience, but hurry up' !!! 

A few years ago someone spoke the scripture Jeremiah 29:11 - "For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" into my life. This scripture has come in my path quite a few times in the last few years, I know he has a plan for my life, the question is, am I ready? Am I ready to open myself to Him and trust Him to take my life where he wants it to go, I know it wont be an easy path and it has taken me a looong time to come to this, but He will fulfil my hearts desires. WOW exciting and scary at the same time. I have tried so many things in my life and all have been done in my own will, but none have sustained or made me happy. After burning out in business and life its time to surrender to myself, my past, my God. I'm ready for what He has in store for me, at the moment I don't feel its much just a lot of sitting and listening, God has no time limits, unfortunately.

Tomorrow will be another day closer to The Sanctuary, however that looks to God, I'm just happy to be where I am today, 'warts n all'. Its time to Begin Life, its time to face some fears.