Friday, 24 May 2013

Love Language

Love Language, what is that! Well I'm starting to understand that its not all about looovveee, but its about trying to understand the people around me. In the book The 5 Love languages, by Gary Chapman, has opened up a whole new thought process of relationships. The 5 love Languages listed are: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Gifts, Acts of Service, Physical Touch. I didn't really know which one I was,  but as I became more aware and talked about it with others I started to really look at what it was that made us feel loved. After thinking about all of them I think to some degree my Love language is all of them and for most people they probably are when we want affection from our husbands or partners, families...UNTIL...We started to do some light home renovation's and fix ups.

One day as we had some ideas of light home fix ups we went to good ol' Bunnings, shopped around, got what we needed and more, as you do in Bunnings, including a hot dog! When we got home Steve started to drill holes and get things happening, I was feeling really loved and happy, stopped and its now been a week and I have half finished holes in the walls. Its been this week I have really noticed my Love language, Acts of Service. I have begun to pout and have little digs about the unfinished work and feeling personally offended. I have realised that Im not feeling LOVED! This was important to me and not so much a big deal to him, until we recognised this being my Love Language and he could understand why I felt offended. When we looked back we realised that I feel really loved when he does things for me, even simply hanging out the washing, making a cuppa or even a back rub. These are all Acts of Service, then also realising that I like to do Acts of Service for others, cooking, being helpful, this also makes me feel happy, even though the others are important too, I definitely recognise this as my strongest Love Language.

I see this in other relationships too, with my daughter, I think her Love Language is Words of Affirmation and my mums is gifts. Imagine if we all new each others Love Languages, even the lady serving the coffee or the guy coming to fix the fridge, I wonder if we could better communicate and understand each other and our motives.

We seem to all have deep emotional feelings that trigger us off in different ways,(not even consciously). If only we could understand where it is each one of us is coming from and be more present and aware that we all have a Love Language.I wonder if relationships would be more accepted and understood, it certainly has helped Steve and I have a better understanding of each other and what is important to me matters to him and vice versa.

Recognising someone's Love Language gives an insight to who that person is and what makes them feel loved and honoured. Asking people close to you what they think their Love Language is and even if they don't know, we might see it in them and help them recognise it and then being able to be aware of it when we interact with them. I have found it hard at times to be completely endearing to Steve's  Love Language and him mine, but its ok, its just nice to recognise what can be driving some of our emotions and offences and being able to talk about them.

I feel God must know our Love Language, He wouldn't fulfil our desires or comfort us with such gentleness and understanding. Maybe this is why we begin to trust Him and find Joy in Him and want more of Him, he has taken the time to know our Love Language.